How to Not Let Self-Care Myths Hurt Your Mental Health

Let’s be honest — self-care has become a buzzword. It’s trending on Instagram, sold to us through candles, spa kits, and productivity planners. But if your mental health hasn’t improved despite your efforts, you might be misunderstanding what self-care really is. Let’s talk about how to not let self-care myths hurt your mental health.

True self-care isn’t always about indulgence — it’s about intention. Therefore getting it wrong can actually increase stress, burnout, and emotional fatigue.

So today we’re breaking down the top 10 most common misconceptions about self-care — and what to do instead to truly support your mental well-being.

Listen to full episode on the podcast

1. You Think Self-Care Is a Reward, Not a Responsibility

What you’re getting wrong:
You only rest or take care of yourself after you’ve been productive or “earned it.”

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
This mindset turns care into a luxury instead of a basic human need. Consequently, it reinforces burnout and guilt.

What to do instead:
Build regular, non-negotiable moments of rest and care into your routine — even when you don’t feel productive.

2. You Believe Self-Care Is Always Relaxing

What you’re getting wrong:
You associate self-care only with things like bubble baths, massages, or sleep.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
You might be avoiding the deeper emotional work — Example, like setting boundaries or facing hard truths — that actually improves your well-being.

What to do instead:
Expand your definition. Real self-care includes journaling about your feelings, having hard conversations, or going to therapy — even if it’s uncomfortable.

3. You Treat Self-Care as a Quick Fix

What you’re getting wrong:
You wait until you feel overwhelmed before taking time for yourself.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
That reactive approach means you’re always on the edge of burnout.

What to do instead:
Shift to a proactive mindset. In addition, treat self-care like maintenance — not crisis control.

4. You Think It Has to Look a Certain Way

What you’re getting wrong:
You follow someone else’s version of self-care — example: yoga, smoothies, skincare — even if it doesn’t feel right for you.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
You’re ignoring your actual needs in favor of a curated idea of “wellness.”

What to do instead:
Tune in to your own emotional, mental, and physical needs. Self-care is personal — not performative.

5. You Avoid “Negative” Emotions in the Name of Self-Care

What you’re getting wrong:
You try to stay positive at all costs. For example, you use distractions or “good vibes only” mantras.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
Repressing emotions leads to emotional buildup, anxiety, and disconnection.

What to do instead:
Allow yourself to feel what you feel — without judgment. Similarly, remember that emotional processing is self-care.

Related Post: How to Set Boundaries Without The Guilt

6. You See Saying “No” as Selfish

What you’re getting wrong:
You feel guilty for canceling plans or declining requests.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
Constant people-pleasing drains your energy and creates resentment.

What to do instead:
Start seeing boundaries as a form of kindness — to yourself and others. Saying no protects your peace.

7. You Associate Productivity With Worth

What you’re getting wrong:
You believe rest is unearned unless you’ve accomplished enough.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
This mindset ties your value to output and ignores your emotional and physical needs.

What to do instead:
Redefine success as alignment, not achievement. Your worth is not based on how much you produce.

8. You Mistake Numbing Out for Recharging

What you’re getting wrong:
You scroll for hours, binge-watch shows, or overeat in the name of “relaxation.”

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
These habits may be numbing, not nourishing — therefore they help you avoid feelings rather than address them.

What to do instead:
Ask yourself: Is this helping me feel more connected to myself? Choose activities that restore you, not just distract you.

9. You Overcommit and Call It “Balance”

What you’re getting wrong:
You try to “do it all” while telling yourself you’re practicing work-life balance.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
Stretching yourself thin leads to chronic stress, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.

What to do instead:
Practice intentional imbalance — choose fewer priorities and commit to them fully. Balance is a season, not a moment.

10. You Avoid Help Because You Think You Should Handle It Alone

What you’re getting wrong:
You think asking for help is weakness or failure.

Why it’s hurting your mental health:
Suffering in silence leads to isolation, shame, and worsening mental health.

What to do instead:
Normalize getting support — from friends, a coach, or a therapist. Vulnerability is strength.

So, What Does Real Self-Care Look Like?

Real self-care is sometimes messy. It’s quiet. It often goes unseen. It’s choosing to go to bed early, even when you’re tempted to scroll. It’s facing your emotions, even when they’re hard. It’s building a life that doesn’t drain you — and creating rhythms that nourish you.

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” – Lalah Delia

Reflection Questions:

• What part of me needs care that I’ve been avoiding?
• Am I treating self-care as a reaction or a routine?
• What have I been calling self-care that’s actually self-avoidance?

Action Steps This Week:

1. Do a daily self-check-in: Ask yourself, “What do I need today — emotionally, mentally, physically?”
2. Choose one uncomfortable self-care task: This might be setting a boundary, making a therapy appointment, or journaling honestly.
3. Create a sustainable self-care plan: Choose 2–3 small, consistent practices that nourish you weekly — not just when you’re overwhelmed.
4. Share this post with someone who needs a reminder that self-care is about more than comfort — it’s about healing.
5. Share the podcast episode here

Stay on track. Stay aligned. Stay intentional.

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