7 Powerful Ways Childhood Shapes Who We Become

Have you ever wondered why you react a certain way to conflict? Or why love, success, or even rest can feel unsafe? The answer may be hidden in your childhood. In this blog post, we’ll discuss 7 powerful ways childhood shapes who we become, and how we can support childhood trauma healing.

In Episode #21 of the Project Purpose Podcast, we sat down with Clinical and Forensic Psychologist, Dawn Petgrave Smith, to unpack how our early experiences impact the adults we become—and more importantly, how to heal what we didn’t choose.

Here are 7 powerful ways childhood shapes who we become, and how we can support childhood trauma healing.

1. Your Core Beliefs Are Formed Early

By age 7, most of us already have deep beliefs about ourselves—like “I’m not enough” or “love is earned.”
These beliefs often stem from how we were nurtured, disciplined, or ignored. Without healing, they shape everything from how we build relationships to how we chase success.

Healing tip: Start by noticing the limiting beliefs you repeat. Journal your thoughts. Are they truly yours—or did you inherit them?

2. Emotional Regulation Starts in Childhood

Children model the behavior they see. If you grew up around anger, withdrawal, or silence during conflict, your adult self likely mimics that emotional response.

Healing tip: Learn to pause before reacting. Therapy, mindfulness apps, and somatic practices can help you develop a new emotional language.

3. Attachment Styles Are Hardwired Early

Whether you felt safe and loved as a child determines how you attach to others now.
Anxious, avoidant, or secure—your attachment style influences your friendships, romantic relationships, and even your workplace interactions.

Healing tip: Read about attachment theory and identify your style. Then work with a coach or therapist to cultivate secure behaviors.

4. Childhood Trauma Affects Adult Health

According to the CDC-Kaiser ACEs Study, people with high childhood trauma scores (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, heart disease, and even cancer later in life.

Healing tip: Talk therapy, CBT, and EMDR can be life-changing tools for releasing the physical and mental hold trauma has on your body.

5. Coping Mechanisms Begin in Childhood

Traveling excessively, overworking, perfectionism, people-pleasing—many adults carry childhood coping strategies into adulthood. They once kept us safe… now they keep us stuck.

Healing tip: Ask yourself: Is this behavior protecting me—or preventing me from healing?

Related Post: How to Break Generational Curses

6. Your Career Path May Reflect Childhood Roles

Were you the “fixer,” “peacemaker,” or “golden child”?
Many of us subconsciously choose careers based on the roles we played in childhood. Teachers, caregivers, police officers, therapists—even entrepreneurs—may still be trying to prove or protect something.

Healing tip: Get curious about your why. Whose approval are you still seeking?

7. Healing Your Inner Child Heals Your Future

It’s never too late to become the version of you that feels safe, seen, and whole.
When we do the inner work, we break cycles—not just for ourselves, but for generations after us.

Healing tip: Practice re-parenting your inner child. Speak to yourself with the love and compassion you needed back then.

🎧 Want to Go Deeper?

Listen to the full episode of the Project Purpose Podcast:
👉 “How Childhood Shapes Who We Become: Healing From the Inside Out” featuring Clinical Psychologist Dawn Petgrave Smith.

🔗 Listen on Spotify

🔗 Listen on Apple

💬 Final Thoughts (Childhood Trauma Healing)

Your childhood may explain you, but it doesn’t have to define you.
You are not broken. You are healing.

If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who’s ready to break the cycle, too. 💚

Share with us your biggest takeaway in the comments below.

Cheers!